You do not have to have a positive mindset, you just have to get out of your own way. Learn to kick your own self limiting beliefs to the curb. The obstacle that blocks the path, is the way forward. Quit the victim mentality and proceed with action. Action brings motivation. Don’t wait for motivation to pick you up off the floor and out of self pity and despair. Start, and then the motivation will come.
Seriously, if you wait for motivation, you’ll wait until it’s too late. You will be forever inconsistent if you allow moods and emotions to dictate your actions. Trapped in starting over again and again each time motivation fades. Don’t be governed by unreasonable reasonings of an irrational mind. The mind that wants instant gratification and to avoid obstacles at all costs. Comfort is the enemy.
Expect to fail. Anticipate these failures so you can plan for them. If I know I want to eat half a gallon of icecream when I’m home alone and feeling low, don’t have icecream in the house, have healthy snacks on standby. Or plan a night out where boredom won’t push you off track. If you have to go to the gym, but you know you put it off until you run out of time for the day, schedule it in first, wake up early and get it done. Identify one small problem at a time, make a plan, use it. Plan didn’t work? Ask yourself why. Try again. Play this game until you win. Don’t get stuck on level 1 on repeat. Cuz you can’t figure out how to slay the dragon that guards the castle of awesomeness. Train that damn dragon to fight your battles for you. Reframe the problem. Bribe him with quest bars, everyone knows fire breathing dragons love quest bars.
Being overly optimistic is overrated. Rather than expecting to succeed, expecting things to go as planned, know that life happens. You can only control your thoughts and how you respond to setbacks. Quit announcing you’ve fallen off the wagon, but you’re going to be perfect from now on. Perfect is a false ideal. Value honesty. Honesty to yourself to be real. Quit selling yourself on the same old lies. All or nothing approaches rarely end well. Prepare yourself for the inevitable setbacks. Quit living in fantasy land.
Instead of trying to dodge obstacles, pretending they don’t existing and hoping they will disappear, face them. Get comfortable being uncomfortable.
This concept is beautifully outlined in Ryan Holiday’s “The Obstacle is the Way”. If you don’t own this, stop what you are doing and go get it from audible.com
and check this out..
HINT: it makes a great gift if you still have no clue what to get people for Christmas.
This book WILL help you get unstuck, not only in relation to your health and fitness goals. But in life.
We need to stop acting like a bunch of spoilt privileged white kids. Realise there is work to be done, and it’s not going to do itself. This post was prompted by the influx of clients wanting me to give them the answer, but not willing to give up their excuses as to why they are no good. Why they can’t. Start thinking of excuses as opportunities to create solutions.
I used to think – I could be at my goal if only I had time to work out more – I don’t do well on carbs – I think it’s because I’m intolerant to eggs/gluten/dairy – It’s because of sugar – it’s because of high cortisol – STOP with the lies you keep telling yourself. Focus on what you can do today to get you closer to your goal.
It’s not going to be a walk in the park, sometimes it might feel like you are walking to Mordor. But the promise of adventure far outweighs the comfort and safety of staying put. Of sitting in a quiet room, making no sound and no progress, comforted only be your deceptive beliefs.
Time is going to pass either way. It is not too late to put down the bag of chocolate covered pretzels, and give it your all. To put your very being into what you know you can become.
Growing up I was told I can be whatever I want to be, provided I wanted it enough and believed in myself. They left out the bit about persisting and resisting, failing forward, being knocked down repeatedly, but never quitting. The road you choose to travel down becomes FAR more rewarding than any imaginable destination. It takes time to realise this. So don’t give up before you experience it.
Stop giving up. Stop Complaining. Work hard. Then work even harder. Do what scares the pants of you. Don’t be afraid to say no to things that hold you back.
Shitty friends, shitty frenemies, your shitty attitudes, shitty moods, shitty values, shitty alcohol, shitty drugs, shitty food, shitty employees, shitty coworkers, shitty mindsets and general half heartedness.
Instead – put yourself out there. Go all in. Stop pretending like you don’t give a damn. Let’s be real here, it’s time to get comfortable being uncomfortable. For when you fall you find that you are actually inspector gadget and have an awesome built in jet pack, which you would have never discovered sitting on the couch. If you don’t break, you won’t know how to put yourself back together, better than before.
Stop watching TV and act like the person who you want to be. Are you the kind of person who wakes up early? Who is on time, who inspires by taking massive action?
I continue to be reminded that the more I give zero f**ks about others expectations of you, you are free to be the most unapologetically authentic version of you.
If you want to lose weight, act like it, prove it.
If you want to be successful, do whatever it takes.
If you want to get strong, bust your ass to get there.
Don’t quit because you tried once and it didn’t work out, because your favorite show is on, cuz all your friends are playing neverending games of beer pong coupled with all you can eat pizza. Unless you wanna be that guy.
Just don’t wake up one day and realize you have been coasting through life this whole freaking time. Afraid to ever do somethings that matters, for fear of judgement. People are going to judge you anyway. Do what makes you happy.
Todd Henry ignites these ideas in “Die Empty” –
“The cost of inaction is vast. Don’t go to your grave with your best work inside you. Choose to die empty.” (http://www.audible.com/pd/Business/Die-Empty-Audiobook/B00FL4Q126) He reminds us that “you will ultimately be remembered for the battles you chose to spend your time fighting.” Don’t spend your days planning all the great things you want to do, and then continue being the same person you were yesterday, going through the motions and procrastinating on the things that will have the biggest ROI.
When you are done salivating over the text of The Obstacle is the way, delve into Die Empty to be inspired to set sail for uncharted territory – Hustle is the best insurance policy against lifelong regret.” (don’t make an excuse as to why you don’t have time to read it or can’t buy it, books are the best investment).
Decide to be the person who gets shit done. Who delivers. Who finishes. Forget your bullshit new years resolutions. Start today. Take big action.
I’ll leave you with an article
James clear knows what’s up. I very much hope this sets you in motion to where you ought to be. I write this as a letter I wish I could give to my past self, in hopes that it can help you get unstuck, as well as remind myself that I came from that very same mindset. It isn’t permanent, unless you allow it to be.
Don’t be the one who holds you back.