10 Steps to a Bangin’ Bod – Basic B*tch Guide

Want 2018 to be your year? Want to finally get that bangin’ bod and stop being a big wad of excuses?

Time for my ten best basic b*tch strategies to help get you toned and basic AF.


Being basic may not be all that exciting. But basic is simple. Keeping things simple and not trying to use your brain to overthink and sweat the small stuff can actually be extremely useful when it comes to fat loss.


Instead of over complicating things with trying to ban whole food groups or demonise certain foods, just stick to the fundamentals of fat loss.

  1. Fruit, veg & legumes. Yeh, all that natural shit that comes from the ground. It’s filled with good nutrients and fibre that helps you feel extra. Get a good serve of these daily if you want to minimise hunger while dieting.
  2. Protein shakes. Most of us don’t get enough complete protein. And no, peanut butter is not a good protein source. A protein shake is convenient and helps maintain lean muscle while dieting. So for those of you who want to “tone” and look good in a bikini – don’t skip the protein. You can get your protein from whole foods, but for most of us it’s much easier to replace one meal with a shake. Chuck in some of that fruit while you’re at it. If you’re lazy like me and need something pre made with an extra hit of caffeine – grab a choc honeycomb ready to go crankt shake from the supermarket.
  3. Meal frequency. 3 square meals a day is as basic as it comes. You want to succeed? Don’t be going to extremes like less than 3 or more then 5 meals a day. Choose 3 super basic times to eat your stupidly basic meals. Stick to this religiously. This will help regulate hunger and keep you in a fat loss friendly routine. If you wanna skip breakfast that’s fine too. The truth is – it doesn’t matter when you eat your meals – as long as it’s something you can stick to long term.
  4. Replace your pumpkin spice latte with Black coffee. Drink your coffee black like your soul. Add some Splenda or stevia for some sweetness. This calorie free cup of adult juice will blunt hunger, making dieting much more enjoyable. If coffee ain’t your thing, try a caffeine supplement like slimtum with a huge glass of water. This is my staple AM supplement while I’m in a fat loss phase. 
  5. Meal Prep. Have basic go to meals that are easy to prepare. Don’t tell yourself you aren’t lazy. Prepare for your laziness. Prep your meals whether you feel like it or not. Then eat those prepped meals instead of ordering pizza.
  6. Get tipsy. If you’re a basic bitch you’re going to need a basic cocktail to get all kinds of tipsy. Don’t try to get too fancy and add a bunch pesky empty calories. Choose vodka with a calorie free mixer – or champagne. Why champagne? Because it gets you messed up quickly so you need less of it. You can eat pizza if you aren’t conscious. 
  7. Get a basic buddy to do basic things with. Go on cute hikes, walk your cute floof doggos together, go to the beach, shop til you drop, cut a rug on the dance floor. It all adds up to fat loss. Spend less time on sucky cardio machines and more time doing fun shit with your mates.
  8. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Just do the basics without asking trivial questions or obsessing about things that are going to make less than 2% of a difference. Like whether your food is organic, grass fed, chemical free, sprouted, raw, vegan. Stick to the basics of healthy protein, carbs and fats. Add some flavour to spice things up. Stick to a plan that you like for long enough to see results.
  9. Choose 4-6 basic go to meals. Eat them over and over until you get bored. Then find some new ones to eat over and over. Life is busy. We don’t need to be Masterchef and create extravagant meals. Just find what you like, count the calories, make it fit your plan. If you don’t know how much you should be eating check out this article. If that is jibberish to you then just use this calculator and plug your numbers into My Fitness Pal to get started. 
  10. Sleep is numero uno. Ok it’s actually number 10.. but who’s counting anyway? If you want to look good and feel healthy, sleep is more important than you know. Choose a bed time that you can stick to. Commit to 8 hours like a girl commits to her heels on a night out, even though her feet are blistering. Quit scrolling on Insta and stalking your ex on fb within an hour of sleep time. Remove any screen or bright light out of your room and try reading some basic books or listening to music instead. You could also try some of those trendy adult colouring books to replace your social media addiction. If you need extra help in the sleep department – try taking the “Yin” night time formula from Slimtum before bed. 

It’s time to stop using your brain and start acting basic. You cannot think your way into change, you must act your way into it. That’s exactly why the most basic people can achieve extraordinary things. They don’t think, they just do it. Quit waiting for motivation and embrace the basic bish life.



If you want to learn more basic b*tch ways to get you that insta worthy bod – check out my 8 week challenge here.



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